More hospitality less banking!!!!
Have you ever read Jerom K. Jerom's " Uncle Podger" ? This morning I felt the same way as he did when I walked through HSBC bank counters.
The employees of the bank were so embarrassingly polite when I walked through the door. I was quite confident about what to do. I went to the right counter, picked up the right deposit slip, stood in the right queue. Suddenly a handsome young man came from behind and bowed down from his waist almost like the sumo wrestlers do before punching their opponent . Was I expected to do the same? Well I guess they spare the ladies from the punches. and have better ways of killing them , may be by being extra polite!!! In a very sugary voice he asked me " May I help you mam' ? " I wanted to say "no!" I know what to do and I know how to do it exactly. But his undevided attention made me waver and I found myself saying in a dry voice " I want to deposit the cheque". He asked me if I have an account and and some relevent detalis which sounded irrelevent to my ears. He made me write the account number one more time, and he had a smile on his face as I fumbled and ultimately took help of the cheque book to write the account number. Do they expect their customers to be Shakuntala Devi that they would mug up 10 digit long account number? After I passed the verification round they must have found me qualified to have their undevided attention.There was no way out after that. He showed me to the sofa and told me to wait and vanished with my cheque god knows where! I failed to understand when so many customers standing in the queue depositing their own cash or cheque why I was dished out special attention! Perhaps I was the only woman in the early hours and they were practising their Customer Care Lessons for the day. Or maybe it was because they dont get to see a 5 ft 8 inches tall bespectacled strange woman everyday who almost felt like an ET in a highly commercialized bank among the embarrassingly attentive employees? I was asked to have coffee two times , and one time to have " a cup of tea at least mam'" and when I refused to give in under their pressure , I was served immediately with a glass of water . I must have been licking my lips to keep them from getting dry. Once they found out I was the wife of some " Niladri Choudhuri Sir " he almost asked me indignently why I kept him in the dark about my identity as if I was A billionaire's wife or the wife of a C grade superstar of a D grade movie. I suddenly became "Tanusree Choudhuri Madam" and they even enquired about my proficiency in french, asked me how my classes were running. I was stumped by their general knowledge and I was too scared to reply and hope to look for a choice or I thought to ask for a help line ( excellnt/ good/ fairly good/bad) " THEY DO NOT LET YOU BE YOURSELF , THEIR CUSTOMER CARE FUNDAS ARE MORE IMPORTANT AND THEY HAVE TO PRACTISE IT ON EVERY POSSIBLE STRANGER. " You have to toe their lines afterall...they know what is good for you ...shhhh dont argue".
After all the formalities and hospitality bestowed on us, when I left the bank and walked out through the exit , AAHHHHH I felt human again, what a relief!!!! As the saying goes " Too much love and attention suffocates you". In their eagerness to help me , they actually made me appear like a fool and down right stupid. NOW SHOULD THE NEW AGE MANAGEMENT GURUS COME UP WITH A BETTER SOLUTION FOR CUSTOMER HANDLING????
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